A Newfound Love...

Prior to the birth of my little angel, I was never too crazy about kids. I loved partying, wining, and dining, so the thought of being locked down by kids totally freaked me out. Back when I lived at home with my parents, my house was always a circus because my mom had a bunch of grandchildren screaming and running around. I loved all my nieces and nephew and I even spoiled them rotten. But after an hour with them, I was more than ready to check myself into an insane asylum.
You see, I love kids, so long as I can return them. My hubby always wanted a village of them and already dreamed of grandchildren. To me, it was to be another item to be checked off my bucket list because that’s what society deemed as the norm. Friends and families always told me that my heart will change when I have one of my own. I laughed because I would’ve chosen my twos cats any day over kids.
My reservations never changed during my 9 months pregnancy nor 1 month post-delivery. Whenever the grandparents volunteered to take care of our little one for a few hours, I happily dropped him off and grabbed my hubby to run like a prinsoner who just broke out of jail. I was the momma bear that rejected her cub. Perhaps I ran around too much like a headless chicken tending to my little one’s cries and hunger that I didn’t have a chance to relax and feel. Or perhaps, I was simply heartless.

It was not until a one week trip away with my hubby and having to leave my little one with my parents did my heart indeed change. Surprisingly,my heart felt like it had been ripped apart not being around my baby. I bawled as car service pulled away and even more all throughout the entire 4 hours flight. That’s when I discovered I did have love for Hunter after all. A love that will never again be questioned. A love so unconditional that I would give up everything to protect him.
Now shows or news about losing a child which once I was once immune to completely terrifies me. I now understand why my parents were so overly protective and even irate when I was growing up.  Each morning I can’t wait to wake up and see Hunter’s smile. I could never kiss him enough or hold him long enough. Overnight, Hunter’s world became my world. The sight of all babies now makes my heart melt. My friends and family were all along right about my heart changing when it comes to my very own. Needless to say, my cats are now desperately seeking for my attention.  

No comments:

Post a Comment